"Welcome," said the Spider to the Fly...

Chaos Balanced??

That is an oxymoronic statement isn't it?

WTF?

But seriously, that is what my mind is, and what millions of people live with on a daily basis. A mass amount of chaos screaming through your head, but your semi-logical part is telling you, "Control your thoughts", while your medication is trying to slow down the speed at which those thoughts go. Or what those thoughts make you think.

I am not sure how many people even can recongize someone with a mental disorder these days. People think I am a sweet, lovely woman/lady. They have no idea that somedays, I would rather punch them in the head, than talk to them. However, because by law, my job, and not wanting to be put in the hospital, I control those feelings of angry, or irratition. They pass.

But it is still a chaotic thought.

Hello readers, by now you know that I am semi-deranged. My name is Cat, I work for a retail company, in the middle of the masses. Tell me how I survive this daily onslaught of chaos? I HAVE NO clue!! Seriously. Sometimes I have really good days though, so I suppose that helps, part of the balance in my life.

However that is sorta off point.

See "Chaos", my thoughts travel sometimes in tangents which bear no meaning to what I was discussing. Somewhere in my head, it seemed like it did, but hmmm not so much when said out loud.

Entries here will not always be co-herent. Nor will they always be happy. Dark and ugly at times, make you want to check and see if I am taking my meds at times, even.. But this is my new blog. First entry, public access.

Why??

I am finally not ashamed when I am in my Balanced Cycles, of admitting that I am Bi-Polar, that I have a mental disorder, which is a chemical imbalance in the brain. I have no control over it. I do however have control over how I deal with it. Taking my meds, education to my friends, so they understand me better, and watch out for my seclusion, and to OTHERS  so they will know they aren't alone.

Everyday I take my pills, is a day I am taking back for myself. Everyday, that go to work, is a day that I prove how strong I am getting.

That is how I am bringing Balance to my Chaos.

Your never alone!!
Blessed Be,
Cat