Saturday, May 23, 2015

Hindsight

If you have followed or read this blog for any period of time, you know I started Paleo before it was cool, but after many amazing people laid some great foundations. I worked hard for 2 years to be fastidious on what I ate, if it was Paleo or not. I got back on the horse if I had a slip up, or chose to have a cheat day. Which leads to me this post...

I let it all go.

I know, I know. I can hear you all asking, "What were you thinking?"

Best answer? I got lazy, and hmmm Boys?!?!?

Yes, I had a new roommate, which then turned into 2 new male roommates, with whom I decided took precedence over me, and my well-being. I know, I hear you again, "Ridiculous, you are saying!" However, I chose to take the time and energy I put into my meal planing, shopping, and preparing and put it towards being social with the people in my house.

I went awesome for a while... And then like all things, it faded. By then I was out of practice taking care of me. I had 2 new people in the house who didn't understand my eating habits. It was hard trying to explain, exhausting to defend, and just plain simpler to do nothing. So I did just that, nothing.

On April 4th, 2015 I went to the hospital not knowing what was wrong with me. I couldn't breathe, thought I had severe bronchitis, or an upper respiratory infection. Holding my chest because it hurt to breathe, they thought I was having a heart attack. In the triage area, the did my vials and I could see they were all freaked out. My Blood Pressure was 215./98 or something crazy. I could hear people wondering why I wasn't stoking out, or worrying that I would. I wonder if I was that vapid when I was in the Medical Field. Hello, I am right here, I can hear everything you are saying, I am already scared, and you ARE NOT HELPING. So they take me back immediately, to an ER room. No waiting for the really fat woman, who might stroke out at anytime, or have a heart attack right there. Not gonna tell you the whole blow by blow of my visit, by the end of the week; yes they admitted me that night. I was a guest for a week. Pneumonia was the culprit. I had high BP, border line diabetic, and of course I am now at the highest weight of my life.

It is a month later, I can breathe again. I am on BP meds, Diabetic meds, some anti-depressants, that help as appetite suppressants. I am blessed to have great insurance, and a finding a wonderful Dr. (She is actually a PA-C. LOVE HER). I have been having so many changes all in the course of the last month, I truly haven't gotten myself together yet. My lease was up in May, so I am in between living spaces, staying with some friends. However I know that I need to get back to a lifestyle that benefited me not hindered me. Whatever excuses I come up with, they are just that; excuses. I have to find my way back to health. 

In hindsight would I make different choices a year ago, absolutely. I would make that tough call and chose me. It isn't an easy road to being healthy. The media, retail, supermarkets, do not make it cheap  to eat the right way. They advertise yummy looking food that is horrible for us, and the things that are healthy for us, can be expensive. If I hadn't had two years of living proof that I can being healthy, I wouldn't know where to turn right now. Now it is just a matter of getting the courage, and motivation to start making the right choices each and every day.

I wish you all luck in your health.

Namaste,
KitCat